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The Four Quadrants
The Four Quadrants
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Toxic Jugdmentalness and Toxic Non-judgementalness
I believe there is healthy judgementalness and non-judgementalness as well as unhealthy judgementalness and non-jugementalness. How one is judgemental or non-judgmental is a major factor. Moreover, there certain things we should probably be judgmental of and certain things we should not be judgemental of. I believe huge social problems (perhaps most) have been created by inappropriate jugementalnes and non-jugementalness. more to com.....
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I find this a very interesting topic. It has been one of the challenges in my life to work on learning some kind of middle ground. Some things I feel are so problematic it feels like a moral duty to be judgemental personally and even publicly, as a form of integrity (one of those "if I don't speak out who will" issues). Other things I couldn't care less about and ignore them. Which later makes me wonder how much is integrity vs. a personal hot button. Other things I feel like I have to support personally and even publicly, also as a form of integrity, and sometimes even in people I'm not fond of.
But it's easy to go overboard in either direction. To judge people instead of actions, for example. It's a difficult subject even to discuss on the internet because often, you can refer to an action or behavior or event and people think you are attacking a person. Which is not the same thing. You can support people while not supporting certain actions and vice-versa actually.
And then there's the opposite which I found interesting that you mentioned: where people are so determined not to be judgemental -- which I would call merely "having adult discretion about what matters" but they consider some kind of spiritual darkness that they should be allowed an opinion about anything -- that they will allow all the worst of everything to be present without any action. Probably half the evil in the world came about because as the saying goes, "Good men did nothing."
Social exclusion or reaction is the primary way that human beings have of helping each other stay within the bounds of sanity. When people either will not judge, or over-judge, or make everything personal instead of action related (actions have to be repeated to become a personal issue), and most of all when they will not communicate either way, it's kind of like the most useful element of humans being in the same reality is lost. The effect people have on one another is important I think, to the individual psyche and the community as a whole.
Anyway. I used to be an ENTJ with a big capital J, and now am INTP near the border of P (I suspect I was always 'I', but was bred to be E as a behavior so longterm and done well I didn't know it wasn't really "me" until I got old enough to get to know myself better). I've grown out of some of my less inspiring traits, but still argue with myself about plenty of what's left. This topic is one of those.
Best,
PJ
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